Thursday, October 3, 2013
My Dear Rose, By LaRita Holden
I was born January 3rd, 1990. My mother named me Rose because of her dear love for Roses. Roses were beautiful and my mother told me every day that I was her beautiful Rose, sweet and lovely. My mother's name was Daisy.
I got married at the age of 18. My mother had just lost her job as a housekeeper and was unable to pay the rent or buy food, so I had met Paul just in the nick of time. As soon as I turned 18, we were married 2 months later. Although Paul was 10 years older than me, I still fell for him instantly. My sister Lily was already in college in her 2nd year working on her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology. Lily was smart, and I always knew that I wanted to be like her one day. She was my beautiful big sister and was already excelling in life. She already had a job and her own apartment off campus. I looked up to her greatly, but I had plans of my own.
Paul was everything that I ever wanted in a man. He was tall, dark skin, muscular, and was well established in life. Paul owned 2 auto shops. Business was good. The day I married him was the day I moved in his house.
Paul had shown me things that I had never seen before. He knew how to wine and dine a lady; dinners, expensive gifts, cars, Paul paid for everything that I wanted. He even brought my mother a house. But all of that came with a price after a while.
5 months of living with & being married to Paul, I started to see a side of him I had never saw before. Although he was controlling and demanding, I didn't mind because he gave me everytHing I ever wanted and needed. Paul had even hit me a few times when he got mad, but he always made it up to me with gifts. And I accepted it because I knew he didn't really mean to do it.
5 years had passed and Paul and I were on and off with our relationship. The drinking had become more frequent and the beatings had become more severe. By now we had twins named Jacob and Jael who were 3yrs old. For the sake of Jacob and Jael having their father around, I always took Paul back, but he had done so much to hurt me. He cheated on me several times, broke my arm, busted my lip, burned my back with a lighter and broke my leg by pushing me down the stairs. Paul would come home drunk, accuse me of cheating and lying to him. He'd slap me, kick me, punch me, even tried to suffocate me with a pillow one day but he stopped once he saw Jacob screaming and crying at the bedroom door.
One evening Paul came home from work upset. Things weren't going well with the auto shops, business was declining and Paul's drinking turned from every weekend to every night. Paul was upset because dinner was not made. Paul punched me in the eye, took my head and held my head under his arm in a choke hold. Minutes later the cops were banging on the door. Paul was arrested. He begged me not to press charges and promised he wouldn't do it again. We did counseling together and Paul took accountability classes.
On my 23rd birthday, instead of being out celebrating, I was in the hospItal. Paul searched my phone that morning and saw a text message from a long time male school mate. Last thing I remembered was Paul beating me with a frying pan. I woke up in the hospital, not knowing how I had even got there. A nurse came to me and asked me questions. She asked about my mom, my dad and asked if I had siblings. I told her yes but I wasn't close to them. They were honestly fed up with me putting up with Paul's abuse, but I loved him, and I believed he could change, and I knew he loved me because he gave me everything that I needed. I couldn't tell the nurse this so I just told her that I was fine and that I had to get back to my children. I was honestly scared too. Paul told me he would kill me if I ever told anyone he hit me.
That night I went home. Paul apologized. I ran in looking for the kids. He said he had dropped them off to my mother's house. I ran to the phone to call my mom. She was hysterical when she heard my voice. I told her not to worry, that I was fine and had just passed out after feeling a little dizzy this morning. She said the children were sound asleep and I told her I would call her back.
That night was a night I would never forget. Paul said he couldn't get the image of the text message out of his mind, plus of course he had been drinking. I pleaded with Paul that it was completely innocent, a school mate who was like a brother to me my entire childhood. Paul yelled at me, called me worthless, a slut and a whore. He said I was a good for nothing and didn't deserve to be treated good because I was a cheater and disrespectful to him. Paul punched me. Blood ran from my nose. I ran as fast as I could. He caught me and stomped me in the back which seemed like forever. Last thing I remember was Paul wrapping his hands around my neck and saying," You will pay for disrespecting me." I could see the anger and rage in his eyes.
June 28, 2013 was my funeral.
I lived a short life, but I didn’t live the way that I should have. I was looking forward to living longer, raising my children, being happy and making my mother proud of me. I confused love with someone taking care of me and buying me gifts, but I’m gone now, and I can’t take those gifts with me. My mother came up to my casket and said, “ My dear Rose, you are as beautiful now as the day you were born, my beautiful Rose, sweet and lovely. May you rest in peace. I am sad that you are no longer with us, but I am at peace with you no longer in pain and suffering.
If you or someone you know is in abusive relationship please tell them domestic violence is not love. Help them to get out before it’s too late.
EDV- End Domestic Violence.......
Love, Rose......Copyright ©2013 LaRita Holden
Friday, July 6, 2012
The definition of me: A Hopeless Romantic
A hopeless romantic is a person who is in love with love.They believe in a fairy tale love. They believe that fairy tales can come true and long to have that special someone in their life. They're not to be confused as stalkers or creepy because that's not what a hopeless romantic is. All hopeless romantics are idealists,the sentimental dreamers,the imaginative and they are deep souls once you get to know them. They often live with rose colored glasses on. They make love look like an art form with all the romantic things they'd do for their special someone and trust me, they'd do it.
A hopeless romantic is not the same as a hopeless flirter. A hopeless romantic dreams of who they will spend the rest of their life with and what the two of them will do together. They want to be romanced with sweet simple things and thoughtful amazing surprises. They dream of being loved but also loving someone. They don't want to just hold someone. They also want to be held. Hopeless romantics realize that love isn't just about one person but both people. They are hopelessly in love with being loved and loving back.
Hopeless Romantics are NOT Hopeless per-say, but very true, caring, and loving people. They are "NOT MADE FOR TODAYS STANDARDS", sadly. They believe in passion, chivalry, and true love. They have loved sincerely at one point in their life, discovered what love feels like, and can't understand why it was not returned in the same form. Hopeless Romantics are usually dreamers, idealists, and sincere, however what they expect in any relationship is a full return for their effort and caring, to be loved as much as they loved. What makes them "Hopeless" is the fact that they are few and far between in todays daily life, and usually get let down in the long run, even though they gave all that they had to give such as love, quality time and more. Hopeless Romantics give 100% ALL the time, and hope for the same in return.
Many people have this defintion of a hopeless romantic all wrong....A hopeless romantic is NOT someone who can't get anyone and they die lonely. A hopeless romantic is someone who is truly in love with true love. They will do anything to be with the person they love. They believe in the idea that there is only ONE person out there for them. They like to be adventurous, spontaneous and romantic with the one that they love.
A hopeless romantic is someone who truly belives in love not someone who can't get a date. They belive that love is the most beautifull thing on earth. When they're sad, just knowing that someone is thinking of them makes them smile, holding their hand makes them feel like they can fly, being loved, respected, cherished and appreciated.
Hopless Romantics beleive in the Ultimate love, finding that one special person that you may want to one day call your soulmate, someone you can honor, respect, love, cherish, appreciate, share special moments with and do special things with, someone you can talk to, someone you can trust, someone who believes in being loyal, faithful and genuine, someone you build a foundation with.
A hopeless romantic is a person who daydreams about romantic occasions and dreams of chances where he or she will be able to perform ongoing romantic acts to show and express their love, yet hardly, rarely or never get the chance to show it in many cases.
A hopeless romatic does not just have a sexual agenda. A hopeless romatic a deep being that wants more than just sex. They feel that making love with deep feelings involved is more meaningful. They want passion, deep intimate feelings charged with this chemistry and feelings of strong emotions. A hopeless romatic is a person who's interetsed in stimulating not only your body but also stimulating your mind, spirit, heart and soul.
A hopeless romatic actually want to take the time out to love you deeply for the beautiful spirit you are and want the same in return. We are simple people and we want to also be shown that we are appreciated and loved. We idolize the idea of love and all that it consists of. We want true happiness and will continue to be hopeless romantics because it's in our nature.
A hopeless romantic is a person who believes in all the little things about love, despite painful burns and heart shattering scenarios. And even after all this, deep inside won't give up on the idea that true does exisit. A well intentioned heart who seems to find love in all the wrong places but who's heart never spoils
Hopeless romantics are very loyal and will have eyes for only you. They will do whatever they feel they need to do to prove their love, but want the same in return.
Hopeless romantics have dreams of one day settling down, finding their true love, prehaps getting married, waking up to this one beautiful special person every morning, sharing intimate moments and realizing that it is the simple things in life that warms the heart and make love worth having.
Sadly, there are not many of us left out here. To know a hopeless romantic is to understand us and appreciate the love that one has to offer. With a hopeless romantic, you'll have real happiness. You'll have true love, romance and everything you ever wanted in love. You just have to know if your ready to endure it and never let go of it.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Feeling you feeling me
Monday, April 16, 2012
Lost Soul
You are not my enemy
But just a thing of my past
My heart turned cold
After all that's been said and done
My heart can no longer feel for something like you
Ashes to Ashes
Dust to dust
I've burried you recently
Killing you was a must
You didn't deserve a life
With a being like me in it
Let alone without me in it
All thoughts & memories
A makeship of dust I flushed away yesterday
Rest In peace
You are not my enemy
But just a thing of my past
We no longer exist
A vivid speckle of mist
Which turned into nothing
That's what you are and what you have become
Step into the darkness
And fall to your death
Take a bow
The show has just ended
You are I are no longer a memory
But just a figment of one's Imagination
NOTHING
This sudden change has punctured my soul
Opening my eyes wide to fact that I mean nothing
You mean nothing, we mean nothing, there's nothing
For you to even say at this point but to remain
Burried, don't reach for me, don't call for me
Don't even look at me, don't utter my name out
Of your chapped lips, skin as rough as the ground
And eyes filled with nothing but sewage
Blind to fact that your journey was to be continued
Walking the plank with your leveled soul
Walking into the light with your being as one
You are not my enemy
But Just a thing of my past
A thing that my walls have shut down for
No entry allowed because you are not worthy
Of a genuine, whole-hearted forgiving fruit as I
Who else would't allow someone in who'd give their life?
Who would beckon at your dying wish? Who'd be there until
You took your last breath, You couldn't possibly Imagine
And see the sweet fruit in me, a fruit you'd want to keep forever
But you took the fruit as I and threw it away
And before I died, you as well were dead to me
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Destroying every part of you
Was a must
To rid all details of you
That reminded me how cold & dead
Life had become when you abandoned
someone you said you loved
You couldn't possibly love yourself
Because loving yourself would mean
You loving me and you hate that, so you hate yourself
When you reach out for your soul
It'll be gone...
But just a thing of my past
My heart turned cold
After all that's been said and done
My heart can no longer feel for something like you
Ashes to Ashes
Dust to dust
I've burried you recently
Killing you was a must
You didn't deserve a life
With a being like me in it
Let alone without me in it
All thoughts & memories
A makeship of dust I flushed away yesterday
Rest In peace
You are not my enemy
But just a thing of my past
We no longer exist
A vivid speckle of mist
Which turned into nothing
That's what you are and what you have become
Step into the darkness
And fall to your death
Take a bow
The show has just ended
You are I are no longer a memory
But just a figment of one's Imagination
NOTHING
This sudden change has punctured my soul
Opening my eyes wide to fact that I mean nothing
You mean nothing, we mean nothing, there's nothing
For you to even say at this point but to remain
Burried, don't reach for me, don't call for me
Don't even look at me, don't utter my name out
Of your chapped lips, skin as rough as the ground
And eyes filled with nothing but sewage
Blind to fact that your journey was to be continued
Walking the plank with your leveled soul
Walking into the light with your being as one
You are not my enemy
But Just a thing of my past
A thing that my walls have shut down for
No entry allowed because you are not worthy
Of a genuine, whole-hearted forgiving fruit as I
Who else would't allow someone in who'd give their life?
Who would beckon at your dying wish? Who'd be there until
You took your last breath, You couldn't possibly Imagine
And see the sweet fruit in me, a fruit you'd want to keep forever
But you took the fruit as I and threw it away
And before I died, you as well were dead to me
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Destroying every part of you
Was a must
To rid all details of you
That reminded me how cold & dead
Life had become when you abandoned
someone you said you loved
You couldn't possibly love yourself
Because loving yourself would mean
You loving me and you hate that, so you hate yourself
When you reach out for your soul
It'll be gone...
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Chasing...Nothing
Chasing dreams
Chasing clouds
Chasing Love
Chasing heartache
Chasing... a dream
Sunlight in disguise crept into my window
Seeping into my eyes one morning
I was...blinded
Blinded by what I thought was love
Darkness quickly came & wrapped its hands
Around my sunlight,Choking it limp
The sky turned dark
Winds blew severely
Birds scurried far away
I heard crying, screams & pain
I looked down and fell to my knees
Watching my heart crumble
Into more than a million pieces
I looked up with tears flowing from my eyes
Only to find... a body with no soul or spirit
Peering down at me with no remorse or regret
This physical form walks over me, stepping on the pieces of my heart
Walking toward darkness, I fell to my back
And gave in as the ocean's biggest wave consumed me
Love...left me to die
Chasing fantasies
Chasing stars
Chasing heartbreak
Chasing you
When I really was
Chasing...a dream
A dream that would never come true
Chasing...Nothing
Chasing clouds
Chasing Love
Chasing heartache
Chasing... a dream
Sunlight in disguise crept into my window
Seeping into my eyes one morning
I was...blinded
Blinded by what I thought was love
Darkness quickly came & wrapped its hands
Around my sunlight,Choking it limp
The sky turned dark
Winds blew severely
Birds scurried far away
I heard crying, screams & pain
I looked down and fell to my knees
Watching my heart crumble
Into more than a million pieces
I looked up with tears flowing from my eyes
Only to find... a body with no soul or spirit
Peering down at me with no remorse or regret
This physical form walks over me, stepping on the pieces of my heart
Walking toward darkness, I fell to my back
And gave in as the ocean's biggest wave consumed me
Love...left me to die
Chasing fantasies
Chasing stars
Chasing heartbreak
Chasing you
When I really was
Chasing...a dream
A dream that would never come true
Chasing...Nothing
From Flakes to Dust
My heart was once mighty and hard
Now it feels broken and Scarred
Now with pieces shattered and cold
You stole my heart and now its sold
I find a piece here and there
I feel I’ve searched almost everywhere
I had the peices found and was ready again to trust
But yet again my heart you bust
The pieces are smaller and harder to find
I feel as though I am losing my mind
Some pieces are lost and it makes my heart bleed
Your corrupt love I do not need
I yelled for you until my voice was hoarse
Now whats left is jagged and coarse
If I only knew what your love would do
I would have never said I belonged to you
You Squeezed my weakend heart until it bust
Now everythings gone from flakes to dust…
This post was submitted by LyricalPoet.
Poem from www.blessedwithlove.com
Now it feels broken and Scarred
Now with pieces shattered and cold
You stole my heart and now its sold
I find a piece here and there
I feel I’ve searched almost everywhere
I had the peices found and was ready again to trust
But yet again my heart you bust
The pieces are smaller and harder to find
I feel as though I am losing my mind
Some pieces are lost and it makes my heart bleed
Your corrupt love I do not need
I yelled for you until my voice was hoarse
Now whats left is jagged and coarse
If I only knew what your love would do
I would have never said I belonged to you
You Squeezed my weakend heart until it bust
Now everythings gone from flakes to dust…
This post was submitted by LyricalPoet.
Poem from www.blessedwithlove.com
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Weather my storm
Like the rain in the night
Tell me baby...
Can you weather my storm?
A place where It's Intensly hot
Satisfying & warm?
Tonight It's gonna be a flood
Definitely far from the norm
A heavy down pour
As wet as a tropical storm
A new place, a new life
Where a beautiful dream was born
Shining bright as the sun
All over, your beauty adorns
A place where we not shed tears or mourn
But a place where 2 becomes 1
Our King & Queen crowns are worn
Friday, July 29, 2011
Love Quotes Pt. 2
There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.
Love is needing someone. Love is putting up with someone's bad qualities because they somehow complete you.
No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater...The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences. And that's the key. It's like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot.
I am coming to terms with the fact that loving someone requires a leap of faith, and that a soft landing is never guaranteed.
Pushing people away from you, and denying yourself love, that doesn't make you strong. If anything, it makes you weaker. Because you're doing it out of fear.
Above Quotes by Sarah Dessen.
More Love Quotes.....
What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
~ by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~
"Love sees with the heart and not with mind."
Shakespeare
Upon thy cheek I lay this zealous kiss, as seal to the indenture of my love."
Shakespeare, from King John Act II Scene I
"My soul hath her content so absolute that not another comfort like to this succeeds in unknown fate."
William Shakespeare
Love is like a river, never ending as it flows, but gets greater with time
Love is a journey not a destination
Love is needing someone. Love is putting up with someone's bad qualities because they somehow complete you.
No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater...The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences. And that's the key. It's like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot.
I am coming to terms with the fact that loving someone requires a leap of faith, and that a soft landing is never guaranteed.
Pushing people away from you, and denying yourself love, that doesn't make you strong. If anything, it makes you weaker. Because you're doing it out of fear.
Above Quotes by Sarah Dessen.
More Love Quotes.....
What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
~ by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~
"Love sees with the heart and not with mind."
Shakespeare
Upon thy cheek I lay this zealous kiss, as seal to the indenture of my love."
Shakespeare, from King John Act II Scene I
"My soul hath her content so absolute that not another comfort like to this succeeds in unknown fate."
William Shakespeare
Love is like a river, never ending as it flows, but gets greater with time
Love is a journey not a destination
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
I am...The One
I've always felt like I was this simple girl
Only requiring the simple things in life
To make me happy,to keep a smile on my face
I've never required the world
Although I feel like I do deserve it
Because I'm also willing to give that special person
The world, the sun, the moon, the stars, unlimited access to all of me
I can give...but the question is...
Will I receive what I deserve? For so long I've given
Given too much of myself, given too much of my time
Given too much attention & love and yet, at the end of it all
I still haven't received what I truly want, need & deserve
It's like I've been giving to the wrong persons
People who've been heartless, selfish, so self-consumed & callous
I sometimes wonder, If there's a God, why does God allow these type of people into my life to hurt me; to manipulate me; to deceive me
Why are these people even brought fourth to me?
I never question God but I always wonder...
The deal is this: I am not perfect so I'm not in search of perfection
I don't require riches in order to be happy
I'm not superficial nor selfish
I'm not the type of female you can just woo with trinkets & gifts
Although I do deserve nice things, I require more than materalistic
Ok...you drive & you may drive a nice car...and?
Am I suppose to fall all over you? No
Ok, you got money & love to spend it...and?
Money makes everyone happy for the moment while spending it
But money's not gonna keep me warm at night,make love to me or fill my heart; At the end of the day, will you show me better than you can tell me?
Will you consider my feelings? Will you want something true & real? Will you be different than the rest? Will you cook for me sometimes? Take me to dine out? rub my feet? pamper your lady? Will you give me the quality time that should be spent? Will we share thoughts & ideas together? Deep intimate & precious moments? Will you stand with me until the end of time?
Love
Trust
Honesty
Quality time
Understanding
Affection
Attention
Communication
Consistency
Loyalty...where are you?
Nothing hurts more
Than to get use to something or someone
Then without any notice, it's gone
Taken away from you... your left... feeling disappointed
All that you wanted was so near, but not really
You sit by the phone, waiting for it to ring
Waiting for a text, any indication of contact
Constantly hoping, waiting, wishing & praying
That the one would reach out to you
But it never happens, and if it does
It's on their terms & when they feel like it...
Do I deserve that? After all that we shared?
After I've opened up myself up to you?
You build me up to break me down, which makes it worse...
Because my guard is back up & I'm not letting anyone in...
Afraid to give myself, afraid to fall, afraid to allow my emotions
To take over, afraid to give my heart,Afraid to get my hopes up,
Give all of me, put my heart, feelings & emotions back on the line
Only to be cut down; taken advantage of; taken on a joyride of deception
Lies, confusion...emotional rollercoaster, draining my energy & my heart
The truth of the matter is that
I deserve better
I will have better
Why?
Because I am a Queen
A Natural Black Beauty
A star in the night next to your moon
I am your sunrise
Your water when your thirst needs to be quenched
Your fire
Your every desire
I am...the beat to your heart
Your air
Your past, your present & your future
I am...The beginning to your ending
The reason why your heart beats faster when you think of me
A damsel in distress
Awaiting her king to pick up the peices & complete the puzzle
I am...The One
Only requiring the simple things in life
To make me happy,to keep a smile on my face
I've never required the world
Although I feel like I do deserve it
Because I'm also willing to give that special person
The world, the sun, the moon, the stars, unlimited access to all of me
I can give...but the question is...
Will I receive what I deserve? For so long I've given
Given too much of myself, given too much of my time
Given too much attention & love and yet, at the end of it all
I still haven't received what I truly want, need & deserve
It's like I've been giving to the wrong persons
People who've been heartless, selfish, so self-consumed & callous
I sometimes wonder, If there's a God, why does God allow these type of people into my life to hurt me; to manipulate me; to deceive me
Why are these people even brought fourth to me?
I never question God but I always wonder...
The deal is this: I am not perfect so I'm not in search of perfection
I don't require riches in order to be happy
I'm not superficial nor selfish
I'm not the type of female you can just woo with trinkets & gifts
Although I do deserve nice things, I require more than materalistic
Ok...you drive & you may drive a nice car...and?
Am I suppose to fall all over you? No
Ok, you got money & love to spend it...and?
Money makes everyone happy for the moment while spending it
But money's not gonna keep me warm at night,make love to me or fill my heart; At the end of the day, will you show me better than you can tell me?
Will you consider my feelings? Will you want something true & real? Will you be different than the rest? Will you cook for me sometimes? Take me to dine out? rub my feet? pamper your lady? Will you give me the quality time that should be spent? Will we share thoughts & ideas together? Deep intimate & precious moments? Will you stand with me until the end of time?
Love
Trust
Honesty
Quality time
Understanding
Affection
Attention
Communication
Consistency
Loyalty...where are you?
Nothing hurts more
Than to get use to something or someone
Then without any notice, it's gone
Taken away from you... your left... feeling disappointed
All that you wanted was so near, but not really
You sit by the phone, waiting for it to ring
Waiting for a text, any indication of contact
Constantly hoping, waiting, wishing & praying
That the one would reach out to you
But it never happens, and if it does
It's on their terms & when they feel like it...
Do I deserve that? After all that we shared?
After I've opened up myself up to you?
You build me up to break me down, which makes it worse...
Because my guard is back up & I'm not letting anyone in...
Afraid to give myself, afraid to fall, afraid to allow my emotions
To take over, afraid to give my heart,Afraid to get my hopes up,
Give all of me, put my heart, feelings & emotions back on the line
Only to be cut down; taken advantage of; taken on a joyride of deception
Lies, confusion...emotional rollercoaster, draining my energy & my heart
The truth of the matter is that
I deserve better
I will have better
Why?
Because I am a Queen
A Natural Black Beauty
A star in the night next to your moon
I am your sunrise
Your water when your thirst needs to be quenched
Your fire
Your every desire
I am...the beat to your heart
Your air
Your past, your present & your future
I am...The beginning to your ending
The reason why your heart beats faster when you think of me
A damsel in distress
Awaiting her king to pick up the peices & complete the puzzle
I am...The One
Sunday, July 3, 2011
La Boom Baby
Yeah baby...
Viva La Boom...aka #TeamBadBitch#
I've raised the bar
Yeah, moved it up a notch
Cause somebody gotta match my fly
Compliment me, compliment you...compliment each other
Hot mama status & there's no turning back
Me settle for less? NADA
Gainfully employed, college graduate
Book smart, street smart, Intelligent
Sexy, sense of humor, outgoing & down to earth...
Meet me on my level & we can talk
Wanna be with a chick like me?
You gotta do more than just talking
Cause I'm definitely not too much into da small talk
You gotta SHOW & PROVE
Get down to business & show me why I should show you some play
Yeah I said it...and?
Shit, I'm worth it
Me lower my standards? NAH
Cause you see, me, I'm a grown ass woman
On my grown woman shit
I know what I want, I know what I need
I know what pleases me & I want what I want
So you tell me.....
Can you match my fly?
Cause I'm definitely wanted by many
But only prefer ONE in particular
But yeah, I've raised my standards
And If you wanna be with a chick like me
You gotta be on my level
Mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally
Baby I want it all
Fire, desire, passion, intimacy, quality time
Romance, a deep & Intimate connection, chemistry,
love-making...a chick like me wants something real
I'm beyond the head games, past the drama
Over the constant lies & bullshit &
Bored of the empty promises & the senseless talk...
"I miss you" "I love you"
Look, keep the useless talk to ya self if you not PROVING anything
Cause looka here, while you talking that samle 'ol shit
Somebody else is sniffing at my dress, checking for a sista
And my time is too valuable to waste
This queen is sitting at the top of her throne
Waiting for her king to step up & take his seat
So we can rule the world together
So tell me baby, what you got for a sista?
Do you have goals? dreams? a career? college educated? making an honest living? are you strong? independent? what are you in search of?
What are your accomplishments? Your wants & desires? You think you ready for a woman like me? Are you ready to start living and enjoying life?
If you are, baby, I'm here, the real deal
Take your position & brace yourself
Because my expectations are higher than Before
& if you think I'm up to ride an emotional rollercoaster
play tag, sorry or a game of chance...
Then I'm sorry
I'll have the play the goodbye game and let the door knob
Hit you on your way out...
So baby, you choose
Are you ready for the real deal or what?
Because mama won't be around or unattached for too long
And I won't sit around and wait on you until you decide
What you want and need in your life
A queen....waiting on her king
Come rescue me daddy
Your ship has finally come
Are you ready? Because I am
Viva La Boom...aka #TeamBadBitch#
I've raised the bar
Yeah, moved it up a notch
Cause somebody gotta match my fly
Compliment me, compliment you...compliment each other
Hot mama status & there's no turning back
Me settle for less? NADA
Gainfully employed, college graduate
Book smart, street smart, Intelligent
Sexy, sense of humor, outgoing & down to earth...
Meet me on my level & we can talk
Wanna be with a chick like me?
You gotta do more than just talking
Cause I'm definitely not too much into da small talk
You gotta SHOW & PROVE
Get down to business & show me why I should show you some play
Yeah I said it...and?
Shit, I'm worth it
Me lower my standards? NAH
Cause you see, me, I'm a grown ass woman
On my grown woman shit
I know what I want, I know what I need
I know what pleases me & I want what I want
So you tell me.....
Can you match my fly?
Cause I'm definitely wanted by many
But only prefer ONE in particular
But yeah, I've raised my standards
And If you wanna be with a chick like me
You gotta be on my level
Mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally
Baby I want it all
Fire, desire, passion, intimacy, quality time
Romance, a deep & Intimate connection, chemistry,
love-making...a chick like me wants something real
I'm beyond the head games, past the drama
Over the constant lies & bullshit &
Bored of the empty promises & the senseless talk...
"I miss you" "I love you"
Look, keep the useless talk to ya self if you not PROVING anything
Cause looka here, while you talking that samle 'ol shit
Somebody else is sniffing at my dress, checking for a sista
And my time is too valuable to waste
This queen is sitting at the top of her throne
Waiting for her king to step up & take his seat
So we can rule the world together
So tell me baby, what you got for a sista?
Do you have goals? dreams? a career? college educated? making an honest living? are you strong? independent? what are you in search of?
What are your accomplishments? Your wants & desires? You think you ready for a woman like me? Are you ready to start living and enjoying life?
If you are, baby, I'm here, the real deal
Take your position & brace yourself
Because my expectations are higher than Before
& if you think I'm up to ride an emotional rollercoaster
play tag, sorry or a game of chance...
Then I'm sorry
I'll have the play the goodbye game and let the door knob
Hit you on your way out...
So baby, you choose
Are you ready for the real deal or what?
Because mama won't be around or unattached for too long
And I won't sit around and wait on you until you decide
What you want and need in your life
A queen....waiting on her king
Come rescue me daddy
Your ship has finally come
Are you ready? Because I am
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Baby....
Hey baby
Yeah...it's me
Let me ask you something
Have you been thinking about me
The way that I've been thinking about you?
Babe....
On some real serious shit
I need you, seriously wanting you
So come on, cum to me, & be prepared
Be prepared to take this love to a new height
I'm ready
Ready for you to devour me
Got my mind right
My body right
Oh yeah, you know what time it is
Time we put our loving to the test
Baby, make love to me
Make love to my physical, my mental
My emotional, my spirit
Make love to my soul
Bring me back to life baby...
Close your eyes & press your lips against mine, lets begin
There's no other place I would rather be right now
Than in your arms and in between your legs
Feeling your sweet succulent tongue flicker my.....
Sucking every inch of my body
Yes baby...
I'm more than ready to fall deep into your love
But tell me...are you ready for this?
Cause it look like you got one foot in
And one foot out the door
And if with me is where you really wanna be
Then let your actions do the talking, be ready
Cause I'm ready to give you all of me, from head to toe
Inside & out....baby, before you even touch my body
Lets deeply connect and stimulate each other's mind...Telekinesis
Wet & slippery & you haven't even touched it yet
Baby, how you gonna handle that?
Lets not waste any time talking...
Come in, close the door behind you
Make yourself comfortable
Have a glass of wine with me
Lets suck on these juicy strawberries & grapes
You like that right? Yes, I know you do
Do you like what I'm wearing?
Its your favorite color
Oh and the pumps, yeah, I'll keep those on all night
Come here.........
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
I Just might Fall......Brian McKnight(Fall 5.0)
I see it clearly
Even if I was blind
You've got me really
Going out of my mind
Things that you whisper
Soft in my ear
Words I've been wanting
So long to hear
I don't know if it's real
But I know how I feel it's
So crazy, so amazing
You can take me now
Got my back against the wall
Feels like I'm standing ten feet tall
On the ledge too close to call
If you push I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
When you're not near me
I long for your touch
When you're right here with me
I can't get enough
The way I used to think girl
Will never be the same
'Cause you reside deeply
In my heart and my brain
I don't know if it's real
But I know how I feel it's
So amazing, so crazy
I can't shake you now
Got my back against the wall
Feels like I'm standing ten feet tall
On the ledge too close to call
If you push I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
Each and every moment
Without you is a long one
Thinking about you
And I know nothing will never be the same
Waited a lifetime
To find you
Just want to stay right beside you
I won't let it slip away
Got my back against the wall
Feels like I'm standing ten feet tall
On the ledge too close to call
But if you push I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
Even if I was blind
You've got me really
Going out of my mind
Things that you whisper
Soft in my ear
Words I've been wanting
So long to hear
I don't know if it's real
But I know how I feel it's
So crazy, so amazing
You can take me now
Got my back against the wall
Feels like I'm standing ten feet tall
On the ledge too close to call
If you push I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
When you're not near me
I long for your touch
When you're right here with me
I can't get enough
The way I used to think girl
Will never be the same
'Cause you reside deeply
In my heart and my brain
I don't know if it's real
But I know how I feel it's
So amazing, so crazy
I can't shake you now
Got my back against the wall
Feels like I'm standing ten feet tall
On the ledge too close to call
If you push I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
Each and every moment
Without you is a long one
Thinking about you
And I know nothing will never be the same
Waited a lifetime
To find you
Just want to stay right beside you
I won't let it slip away
Got my back against the wall
Feels like I'm standing ten feet tall
On the ledge too close to call
But if you push I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
I just might fall
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Love Quotes
Trying to make someone fall in love with you is about as pointless as trying to control who you fall in love with.
It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone - but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.
True Love burns the brightest, but the brightest flames leave the deepest scars.
The worst thing you can do for love is deny it; so when you find that special someone, don't let anyone or anything to get in your way.
Lost is the man or woman who postpones loves to find one's self. In companionship is where you will better find yourself and your partner and love of both.
You've spent your whole life running and running, trying to catch up with something that has never been there for you. And all you've done is go farther and farther away from the precious love that's been waiting for you all this time: me.
The worst thing a person could do is lie about loving you or say they love you when their actions show they obviously don't.
Never confuse lust for love. Lust is a temporary feeling. Love is a feeling that lingers and that's felt in the soul.
You can't hide what your heart feels
What's the sense of running away from love when it'll probably be the best thing that ever happend to you?
Karma is and always will be a bitch. Never do to others what you don't want done to you.
Honesty is the key. If you can't even be honest with yourself then how can you expect to be honest with others? Furthermore, why should ANYONE ever be honest with you if you're not even honest?
Love equals pleasure and pain
In the end, will lust or love conquer all?
When a woman's been constantly lied to, cheated on, misled, hurt and abused, how can you expect her not to have her guard up?
If you can't prove how much you love a person, do you deserve to have them?
How can you move on with your life if you have unfinished business with your ex? Is it fair to mislead the new person on, have them out on a thin loose rope that's waiting to pop?
Beauty is skin deep. If you're truly looking for love, look at what's beneath the surface. You just may find your diamond.
Why spend a lifetime searching for something that's right in front of your face?
Would you rather have someone who constantly causes you drama or be with someone who has your best interest at heart and provides you with a peice of mind & tranquility?
It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone - but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.
True Love burns the brightest, but the brightest flames leave the deepest scars.
The worst thing you can do for love is deny it; so when you find that special someone, don't let anyone or anything to get in your way.
Lost is the man or woman who postpones loves to find one's self. In companionship is where you will better find yourself and your partner and love of both.
You've spent your whole life running and running, trying to catch up with something that has never been there for you. And all you've done is go farther and farther away from the precious love that's been waiting for you all this time: me.
The worst thing a person could do is lie about loving you or say they love you when their actions show they obviously don't.
Never confuse lust for love. Lust is a temporary feeling. Love is a feeling that lingers and that's felt in the soul.
You can't hide what your heart feels
What's the sense of running away from love when it'll probably be the best thing that ever happend to you?
Karma is and always will be a bitch. Never do to others what you don't want done to you.
Honesty is the key. If you can't even be honest with yourself then how can you expect to be honest with others? Furthermore, why should ANYONE ever be honest with you if you're not even honest?
Love equals pleasure and pain
In the end, will lust or love conquer all?
When a woman's been constantly lied to, cheated on, misled, hurt and abused, how can you expect her not to have her guard up?
If you can't prove how much you love a person, do you deserve to have them?
How can you move on with your life if you have unfinished business with your ex? Is it fair to mislead the new person on, have them out on a thin loose rope that's waiting to pop?
Beauty is skin deep. If you're truly looking for love, look at what's beneath the surface. You just may find your diamond.
Why spend a lifetime searching for something that's right in front of your face?
Would you rather have someone who constantly causes you drama or be with someone who has your best interest at heart and provides you with a peice of mind & tranquility?
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Silly of me
I had never felt so sure about being with someone in my life
Wanted to spend my days with you, my nights with you
Wanted to show you all of me, from the inside out
Was so ready to slowly let down my guard and trust again
Wanted to show you the softer side of me, the side that made loving possible
Wanted to offer you the key to unlock my heart, I wanted you to be my ultimate love; I felt like you may have been the one, felt like I would finally be happy for a change but that idea quickly changed. Silly of me to think I could ever have you for myself; Silly of me for thinking I could be the one to make you happy; Silly of me for falling for you, saying I love you, telling you all I wanted was you in my present & future
Silly of me to offer you all of my great qualities, silly of me for believing you trusted me with your heart; silly of me for spending countless nights listening to love songs, missing you, yearning for you
Craving your touch, wanting to be in your presence, wanting you to be the only one to make love to me, silly of me for having all of these silly thoughts, silly of me for living in a fantasy world
Thinking that anything and everything was possible, when in actuality, nothing was possible because you didn’t want it to be possible. The love that I wanted to fall in love with never gave me the chance to show love ultimately from the interior to the exterior….
So much false hope; so much time waisted; so much I looked forward to for...nothing. You spoke those three words...I love you... but if you truly loved me, then you'd be in my present instead of now being my past.
Goodbye love
Wanted to spend my days with you, my nights with you
Wanted to show you all of me, from the inside out
Was so ready to slowly let down my guard and trust again
Wanted to show you the softer side of me, the side that made loving possible
Wanted to offer you the key to unlock my heart, I wanted you to be my ultimate love; I felt like you may have been the one, felt like I would finally be happy for a change but that idea quickly changed. Silly of me to think I could ever have you for myself; Silly of me for thinking I could be the one to make you happy; Silly of me for falling for you, saying I love you, telling you all I wanted was you in my present & future
Silly of me to offer you all of my great qualities, silly of me for believing you trusted me with your heart; silly of me for spending countless nights listening to love songs, missing you, yearning for you
Craving your touch, wanting to be in your presence, wanting you to be the only one to make love to me, silly of me for having all of these silly thoughts, silly of me for living in a fantasy world
Thinking that anything and everything was possible, when in actuality, nothing was possible because you didn’t want it to be possible. The love that I wanted to fall in love with never gave me the chance to show love ultimately from the interior to the exterior….
So much false hope; so much time waisted; so much I looked forward to for...nothing. You spoke those three words...I love you... but if you truly loved me, then you'd be in my present instead of now being my past.
Goodbye love
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Feels like...My heart is Gone
Feels like... My heart is gone
Feels like...I'm dreaming but I'm awake
Feels like... I'm numb and frozen
Feels like... My pulse is getting weaker
Feels like...My heart stopped beating
Feels like... My heart is gone
Feels like...My world is falling apart
Feels like...I'm in the dark, and it's so cold
Feels like...I'm in a state of confusion & uncertainty
Feels like...My heart has stepped out of my body
Feels like... My heart is gone
Feels like... I've been cut into a million peices
Feels like...The tears running down my face are unreal
Feels like...My hopes were up too high for nothing
Feels like...I stepped forward and fell flat on my face
Feels like... My heart is gone
Feels like...I put my heart on the line and...it was cut
Feels like...I'm living but I'm not
Feels like...I'm breathing with no air
Feels like... the ultimate love I longed for vanished
Feels like... My heart is gone
Feels like...I have to give up and never look back
Feels like...I'm closing my heart to love, because love hurts too much
Feels like...I'm constantly giving myself and getting mind fucked
Feels like...The word "Love" equals disappointment, lies & pain
Feels like... My heart is gone
Feels like...My brain has shut down
Feels like...A storm has wiped everything away
Feels like...I was left on a deserted island with no food or water
Feels like...A nightmare I'm praying to wake up from
Feels like... My heart is gone
Feels like...I'm dreaming but I'm awake
Feels like... I'm numb and frozen
Feels like... My pulse is getting weaker
Feels like...My heart stopped beating
Feels like... My heart is gone
Feels like...My world is falling apart
Feels like...I'm in the dark, and it's so cold
Feels like...I'm in a state of confusion & uncertainty
Feels like...My heart has stepped out of my body
Feels like... My heart is gone
Feels like... I've been cut into a million peices
Feels like...The tears running down my face are unreal
Feels like...My hopes were up too high for nothing
Feels like...I stepped forward and fell flat on my face
Feels like... My heart is gone
Feels like...I put my heart on the line and...it was cut
Feels like...I'm living but I'm not
Feels like...I'm breathing with no air
Feels like... the ultimate love I longed for vanished
Feels like... My heart is gone
Feels like...I have to give up and never look back
Feels like...I'm closing my heart to love, because love hurts too much
Feels like...I'm constantly giving myself and getting mind fucked
Feels like...The word "Love" equals disappointment, lies & pain
Feels like... My heart is gone
Feels like...My brain has shut down
Feels like...A storm has wiped everything away
Feels like...I was left on a deserted island with no food or water
Feels like...A nightmare I'm praying to wake up from
Feels like... My heart is gone
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Gone...
Feels like I’ve been slowly dying
Slipping into a coma for quite some time now
Headed into a deep dark cold sleep
Thinking that it was all a dream when…
It was actually reality settling in
I did things to mask the hurt and pain but
It didn’t work, each day I died slowly until
One morning I felt numb and lifeless
I felt pain in my heart, distress, a void
That morning… I died. Every inch of me that ever loved
Died. My heat couldn’t go on loving anymore
Hurt, pain, distress, mistreatment, neglect, my heart
Walked all over. My feelings? Crushed. My thoughts? Ignored
My wants and desires? Overlooked. Love had infected me venomously
If this is the result of what love is supposed to feel like then
Pull the plug and let me code blue. No need for me to cling on to life when love will leave me for dead anyway. Love? I put EVERYTHING on the line for it, sacrificing so much to end up with…a broken heart. Love, has left a bitter sweet taste in my mouth. Love has caused me to have:little to no trust, insecurities, doubtfulness, worrisome, love has scarred my perception of what love is truly supposed to be like and feel like. Love has corrupted my mind
Love has done nothing but lead me in a ruthless and reckless lane, ending up feeling alone, used, dissatisfied, angry and disgusted. My heart? I decided to lock up and throw away the key. Love doesn’t live here anymore, sick of being lied to, sick of being alone, sick of fantasizing about one day having this “Love” out of a fairy tale book. I’m now convinced that love is for the birds, the butterflies and the bees, love is not for me. If I can’t be shown love, If I can’t get what I deserve from love, if love can’t help me make the right decisions instead of leading me into a danger zone, I don’t want love. I don’t believe in it anymore and it doesn’t believe in me either. If I can’t be rescued from Love’s torture chamber, then Love will remain nothing to me. Love? The word is constantly misused for one’s own selfish purposes. Love? The word is entailed with empty promises, broken promises, too many sorry's and lame excuses and not enough time invested in showing what love really means. Love, I’ve had enough. Love, stay away from me. Love, don’t utter the words when you refuse to show your true self. Love? I can't.....
Slipping into a coma for quite some time now
Headed into a deep dark cold sleep
Thinking that it was all a dream when…
It was actually reality settling in
I did things to mask the hurt and pain but
It didn’t work, each day I died slowly until
One morning I felt numb and lifeless
I felt pain in my heart, distress, a void
That morning… I died. Every inch of me that ever loved
Died. My heat couldn’t go on loving anymore
Hurt, pain, distress, mistreatment, neglect, my heart
Walked all over. My feelings? Crushed. My thoughts? Ignored
My wants and desires? Overlooked. Love had infected me venomously
If this is the result of what love is supposed to feel like then
Pull the plug and let me code blue. No need for me to cling on to life when love will leave me for dead anyway. Love? I put EVERYTHING on the line for it, sacrificing so much to end up with…a broken heart. Love, has left a bitter sweet taste in my mouth. Love has caused me to have:little to no trust, insecurities, doubtfulness, worrisome, love has scarred my perception of what love is truly supposed to be like and feel like. Love has corrupted my mind
Love has done nothing but lead me in a ruthless and reckless lane, ending up feeling alone, used, dissatisfied, angry and disgusted. My heart? I decided to lock up and throw away the key. Love doesn’t live here anymore, sick of being lied to, sick of being alone, sick of fantasizing about one day having this “Love” out of a fairy tale book. I’m now convinced that love is for the birds, the butterflies and the bees, love is not for me. If I can’t be shown love, If I can’t get what I deserve from love, if love can’t help me make the right decisions instead of leading me into a danger zone, I don’t want love. I don’t believe in it anymore and it doesn’t believe in me either. If I can’t be rescued from Love’s torture chamber, then Love will remain nothing to me. Love? The word is constantly misused for one’s own selfish purposes. Love? The word is entailed with empty promises, broken promises, too many sorry's and lame excuses and not enough time invested in showing what love really means. Love, I’ve had enough. Love, stay away from me. Love, don’t utter the words when you refuse to show your true self. Love? I can't.....
Thursday, January 13, 2011
My Love Equals Simplicity
My love
Is one that's not complicated
But is simple and real
If I tell you I love you
Then believe me, I do
But love should never be a one way street
Love should always be proven with action
It never takes much
To make a girl like me happy
My Love Equals Simplicity
My love doesn't require
Materialistic trinkets for happiness
My love cannot be brought
My love remains.....simple
Quality time
Romance
Wining and dinning
Special and memorable moments
Adventure
Exploration
A love that can be given and received
By both people
My Love Equals Simplicity
I love to love
I love being in love
Having that intimate and deep connection
Having similar qualities and similar interests
It feels so good, being wanted and appreciated
Being loved, you looking into each others eyes
Appreciating each other as a whole
Holding hands
Making plans
Making love
Having out-of-this-world-sex
That takes you to new heights
Feeling so many things that
You've never felt before
A love like mine can have you
All up in love & smiling because
Loving me is never a mistake
My Love Equals Simplicity
TO BE CONTINUED......
Is one that's not complicated
But is simple and real
If I tell you I love you
Then believe me, I do
But love should never be a one way street
Love should always be proven with action
It never takes much
To make a girl like me happy
My Love Equals Simplicity
My love doesn't require
Materialistic trinkets for happiness
My love cannot be brought
My love remains.....simple
Quality time
Romance
Wining and dinning
Special and memorable moments
Adventure
Exploration
A love that can be given and received
By both people
My Love Equals Simplicity
I love to love
I love being in love
Having that intimate and deep connection
Having similar qualities and similar interests
It feels so good, being wanted and appreciated
Being loved, you looking into each others eyes
Appreciating each other as a whole
Holding hands
Making plans
Making love
Having out-of-this-world-sex
That takes you to new heights
Feeling so many things that
You've never felt before
A love like mine can have you
All up in love & smiling because
Loving me is never a mistake
My Love Equals Simplicity
TO BE CONTINUED......
Monday, January 10, 2011
Why?
Why should I open up to you?
Only to be let down
Why should I let you fill my head
With all of these fantasies and fairy tales?
You’ll say everything I wanna hear
Only to get what you want
Then when you’re finished
In the end I’ll get NOTHING I want
Then you wanna act brand new, wow
Why should I wear my heart on my sleeve?
So you can walk up to me and stab it?
Why should I think that you’re different from the rest?
Why should I get my hopes up for nothing?
When all that’s being ran on me is a mind game
One minute your hot, the next your cold
I can’t ride on your emotional roller coaster
I can’t and won’t be your Muppet baby, puppet or play thing
My heart is too real and genuine for that
My love is too kind, caring and catering
To let you or anyone unworthy take advantage of it
I am a woman, I’m human and I have REAL feelings
My feelings do count
Maybe not to you but hey, that’s your loss
So why should I believe anything you say?
When things seem “a little off” at times
It’s that woman’s intuition that’s telling me that
Most likely someone else has your attention so
Why should I fall for you?
So I can get my fuking heart broken?
So I can be up crying at night because
I didn’t hear from you or see you?
One minute your up, the next your down
Then you get nonchalant, oh no, I can’t
Did I say I wanted to fall in love or even catch feelings for you?
NO. So why should I listen to you tell me about your feelings for me?
So I can get gassed and end up falling flat on my face
And you won’t be there to catch me?
So the plan is for me to set myself up for empty promises?
So you’ll say we were on the same page
But really you’re not on the same page as me, and If you’re not then
I have to say goodbye, or maybe you’ve said goodbye
And I’m the dumb ass that’s waiting for a call or meet up that I’ll never get
Because my feelings are already in way too deep
And I’m afraid if I continue I’ll hit rock bottom
And you’ll be on the next plane to ecstasy with the next bitch
While I’ll be locked away in a cold prison called sadness with other women
Suffering from a broken heart, withdrawal and stupidity syndrome
Yeah, so why should I continue to play the fool for you?
When what you said you wanted in a woman is staring you in your face: ME
And yet, I’m just not enough for you
So I see
What matters to me doesn’t matter to you
And I’m assuming you have a better woman or women in your life
To fulfill all of your useless needs
Thanks for the good time
But I’m not up for the usage anymore
Why?
Because I am worth more than just a good time in the bedroom
My shop is now closed to you.
You’re no longer privileged to feast in this shop, steal goodies, and use what you want, come and go as you please and not give a damn about anything but your own wants and needs. SELFISH ASS. So yes, I’m through. My heart, feelings and emotions are now switched off.
Why?
Because I refuse to accept your pack of lies & I’ll no longer be stupid & be your spare tire when you need a good fix
Goodbye
Copyright ©2011 LaRita C.
Only to be let down
Why should I let you fill my head
With all of these fantasies and fairy tales?
You’ll say everything I wanna hear
Only to get what you want
Then when you’re finished
In the end I’ll get NOTHING I want
Then you wanna act brand new, wow
Why should I wear my heart on my sleeve?
So you can walk up to me and stab it?
Why should I think that you’re different from the rest?
Why should I get my hopes up for nothing?
When all that’s being ran on me is a mind game
One minute your hot, the next your cold
I can’t ride on your emotional roller coaster
I can’t and won’t be your Muppet baby, puppet or play thing
My heart is too real and genuine for that
My love is too kind, caring and catering
To let you or anyone unworthy take advantage of it
I am a woman, I’m human and I have REAL feelings
My feelings do count
Maybe not to you but hey, that’s your loss
So why should I believe anything you say?
When things seem “a little off” at times
It’s that woman’s intuition that’s telling me that
Most likely someone else has your attention so
Why should I fall for you?
So I can get my fuking heart broken?
So I can be up crying at night because
I didn’t hear from you or see you?
One minute your up, the next your down
Then you get nonchalant, oh no, I can’t
Did I say I wanted to fall in love or even catch feelings for you?
NO. So why should I listen to you tell me about your feelings for me?
So I can get gassed and end up falling flat on my face
And you won’t be there to catch me?
So the plan is for me to set myself up for empty promises?
So you’ll say we were on the same page
But really you’re not on the same page as me, and If you’re not then
I have to say goodbye, or maybe you’ve said goodbye
And I’m the dumb ass that’s waiting for a call or meet up that I’ll never get
Because my feelings are already in way too deep
And I’m afraid if I continue I’ll hit rock bottom
And you’ll be on the next plane to ecstasy with the next bitch
While I’ll be locked away in a cold prison called sadness with other women
Suffering from a broken heart, withdrawal and stupidity syndrome
Yeah, so why should I continue to play the fool for you?
When what you said you wanted in a woman is staring you in your face: ME
And yet, I’m just not enough for you
So I see
What matters to me doesn’t matter to you
And I’m assuming you have a better woman or women in your life
To fulfill all of your useless needs
Thanks for the good time
But I’m not up for the usage anymore
Why?
Because I am worth more than just a good time in the bedroom
My shop is now closed to you.
You’re no longer privileged to feast in this shop, steal goodies, and use what you want, come and go as you please and not give a damn about anything but your own wants and needs. SELFISH ASS. So yes, I’m through. My heart, feelings and emotions are now switched off.
Why?
Because I refuse to accept your pack of lies & I’ll no longer be stupid & be your spare tire when you need a good fix
Goodbye
Copyright ©2011 LaRita C.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Officially Wanting You
Baby...
If wanting you is wrong
Then I don't ever wanna be right
I'd rather be wrong for the rest of my life
Then to be without you
A piece of my heart dies slowly each day
Knowing that you’re gone
But If I could have just a piece of your love
I’d rather have that then to have nothing at all
I have come to the realization that indeed
Loving you is wrong but…
I can’t help myself
Absolutely not, and I know I should care but…
Let the truth be known: I love you
Deeply
And although I do respect you and what you have
That will NEVER stop my heart from feeling you in it
So if loving you is wrong, then let it be wrong
Because being right is NOT an option for me
Baby…
If you dig deep into your heart
Will you find me in it?
I’m as serious as death
Will you find at least a piece of me
Buried inside of your heart?
Will you close your eyes
Picture us together
Our lips softly gracing each other’s
My hands caressing your beautiful skin
Trailing deep and passionate kisses along your neck
Your arms wrapped around me tightly…like you don’t wanna let go
My tongue dancing around yours
Baby… I’m getting weaker by the seconds
Thinking about our bodies pressed against one another's....
It's official, I want you, I really do
So If these feelings are wrong
Tonight, I don’t wanna be right
Tonight I wanna appreciate you
From the top of your head
Down to the bottom of your feet
Baby…
I wanna make love to you.
Copyright ©2011 LaRita C.
If wanting you is wrong
Then I don't ever wanna be right
I'd rather be wrong for the rest of my life
Then to be without you
A piece of my heart dies slowly each day
Knowing that you’re gone
But If I could have just a piece of your love
I’d rather have that then to have nothing at all
I have come to the realization that indeed
Loving you is wrong but…
I can’t help myself
Absolutely not, and I know I should care but…
Let the truth be known: I love you
Deeply
And although I do respect you and what you have
That will NEVER stop my heart from feeling you in it
So if loving you is wrong, then let it be wrong
Because being right is NOT an option for me
Baby…
If you dig deep into your heart
Will you find me in it?
I’m as serious as death
Will you find at least a piece of me
Buried inside of your heart?
Will you close your eyes
Picture us together
Our lips softly gracing each other’s
My hands caressing your beautiful skin
Trailing deep and passionate kisses along your neck
Your arms wrapped around me tightly…like you don’t wanna let go
My tongue dancing around yours
Baby… I’m getting weaker by the seconds
Thinking about our bodies pressed against one another's....
It's official, I want you, I really do
So If these feelings are wrong
Tonight, I don’t wanna be right
Tonight I wanna appreciate you
From the top of your head
Down to the bottom of your feet
Baby…
I wanna make love to you.
Copyright ©2011 LaRita C.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Untitled
This time around....I wanted it to be so different...So I closed my eyes and drifted off into a deep sleep... I ended up In what appeared to be fantasy land, where everything seemed so serene and peaceful.I felt few worries, no stress, everything seemed to feel...different. I took a seat by a pond. The water was so amazingly beautiful, literally sparkling, my soul pounded with delight and I was smiling from cheek to cheek.Startled by the tap on my shoulder, I jumped up...to meet the eyes of someone so breathtaking, I became speechless, not knowing what to say next. The stranger
introduced himself and lifted my hand in the most delicate way.
I blushed with delight and my stomach stirred with butterflies... what was going on? I quickly dashed away, hearing the stranger calling after me, but how did he know my name? Filled with confusion, I turned around and the stranger was gone.I jumped up from the deep sleep, wiped the sweat from my head and looked around my room as if I would spot the stranger. Wow. My head instantly pounded with a massive headache.
The next night, I fell into another deep sleep. I end up back at the pond, my eyes searched all around for the stranger. It was only within seconds of seeing the stranger the night before that I realized how drawn to his spirit I was. It felt right to be in his presence. I wanted to know more about him, where he was from, I wanted to know him from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet, on a mental level, spiritual level, emotional level, physical level....I wanted this time around to be different. Surprisingly while I was in deep thought the stranger had sat beside me. I was nervous but we talked for what seemed like hours. By the end of the conversation, my soul felt connected to his. We were like two pure natural beings. He was the earth and I was his Sun. Our connection was so deep that we had already developed this mutual understanding for one another.
For the next weeks, I continued to have this same dream, the stranger and I meeting up, talking, walking, holding hands, so heavily and deeply connected we were like two magnets that couldn't be pulled away from each other. I wanted to be his everything. I had NEVER felt that way about anyone. Sometimes I often wondered, was is just a dream, was it just a fantasy? When was I going to get my chance to experience the ultimate feeling of love? Hell, what was the Ultimate feeling of love? Was it taking the time to really know one another, trusting each other, communicating with one another, respecting one another, being patient with one another, accepting one another, being real with one another, taking the necessary quality time to actually love one another, spending this amazing time together to get to that level of learning how to meet that person's needs on all levels. Taking long strolls through the park together, dining together, engaging in several activities together to keep the hearts strong and pumping, traveling together, taking strolls along the beach, taking pictures together to bookmark the love that was written in the skies, sharing so many intimate moments together with each other, around family and friends.... was this the Ultimate love? Going above and beyond to prove how you feel about a person? Having consideration for the person's thoughts and feelings? Treating each other like you really matter to one another, being in love and blinded by love because it existed in both partners eyes....wow, this is the kind of love that I wanted.
For one week straight I didn't have the dream. I went to bed disappointed and alone. I wanted to have this dream because it felt so real..... and the next night as I turned the key in my door I dropped my bag of groceries as I spotted him....the stranger! What was really going on? His eyes met mine, as if he knew me. His jaw dropped. We came close to each other. As I began to speak he put his finger to my mouth and said...please....don't speak. You feel as real as my flesh and my heart that pounds a million beats per second. Please....if this is a dream,if seeing you is a dream, then please...don't ever wake me. I think I have found my Soul Mate. A tear drop rolled down my cheek as his lips pressed against mine.My dream turned into reality.I held tight and never let go.
Copyright ©2011 LaRita C.
introduced himself and lifted my hand in the most delicate way.
I blushed with delight and my stomach stirred with butterflies... what was going on? I quickly dashed away, hearing the stranger calling after me, but how did he know my name? Filled with confusion, I turned around and the stranger was gone.I jumped up from the deep sleep, wiped the sweat from my head and looked around my room as if I would spot the stranger. Wow. My head instantly pounded with a massive headache.
The next night, I fell into another deep sleep. I end up back at the pond, my eyes searched all around for the stranger. It was only within seconds of seeing the stranger the night before that I realized how drawn to his spirit I was. It felt right to be in his presence. I wanted to know more about him, where he was from, I wanted to know him from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet, on a mental level, spiritual level, emotional level, physical level....I wanted this time around to be different. Surprisingly while I was in deep thought the stranger had sat beside me. I was nervous but we talked for what seemed like hours. By the end of the conversation, my soul felt connected to his. We were like two pure natural beings. He was the earth and I was his Sun. Our connection was so deep that we had already developed this mutual understanding for one another.
For the next weeks, I continued to have this same dream, the stranger and I meeting up, talking, walking, holding hands, so heavily and deeply connected we were like two magnets that couldn't be pulled away from each other. I wanted to be his everything. I had NEVER felt that way about anyone. Sometimes I often wondered, was is just a dream, was it just a fantasy? When was I going to get my chance to experience the ultimate feeling of love? Hell, what was the Ultimate feeling of love? Was it taking the time to really know one another, trusting each other, communicating with one another, respecting one another, being patient with one another, accepting one another, being real with one another, taking the necessary quality time to actually love one another, spending this amazing time together to get to that level of learning how to meet that person's needs on all levels. Taking long strolls through the park together, dining together, engaging in several activities together to keep the hearts strong and pumping, traveling together, taking strolls along the beach, taking pictures together to bookmark the love that was written in the skies, sharing so many intimate moments together with each other, around family and friends.... was this the Ultimate love? Going above and beyond to prove how you feel about a person? Having consideration for the person's thoughts and feelings? Treating each other like you really matter to one another, being in love and blinded by love because it existed in both partners eyes....wow, this is the kind of love that I wanted.
For one week straight I didn't have the dream. I went to bed disappointed and alone. I wanted to have this dream because it felt so real..... and the next night as I turned the key in my door I dropped my bag of groceries as I spotted him....the stranger! What was really going on? His eyes met mine, as if he knew me. His jaw dropped. We came close to each other. As I began to speak he put his finger to my mouth and said...please....don't speak. You feel as real as my flesh and my heart that pounds a million beats per second. Please....if this is a dream,if seeing you is a dream, then please...don't ever wake me. I think I have found my Soul Mate. A tear drop rolled down my cheek as his lips pressed against mine.My dream turned into reality.I held tight and never let go.
Copyright ©2011 LaRita C.
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