Thursday, October 3, 2013

My Dear Rose, By LaRita Holden

I was born January 3rd, 1990. My mother named me Rose because of her dear love for Roses. Roses were beautiful and my mother told me every day that I was her beautiful Rose, sweet and lovely. My mother's name was Daisy. I got married at the age of 18. My mother had just lost her job as a housekeeper and was unable to pay the rent or buy food, so I had met Paul just in the nick of time. As soon as I turned 18, we were married 2 months later. Although Paul was 10 years older than me, I still fell for him instantly. My sister Lily was already in college in her 2nd year working on her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology. Lily was smart, and I always knew that I wanted to be like her one day. She was my beautiful big sister and was already excelling in life. She already had a job and her own apartment off campus. I looked up to her greatly, but I had plans of my own. Paul was everything that I ever wanted in a man. He was tall, dark skin, muscular, and was well established in life. Paul owned 2 auto shops. Business was good. The day I married him was the day I moved in his house. Paul had shown me things that I had never seen before. He knew how to wine and dine a lady; dinners, expensive gifts, cars, Paul paid for everything that I wanted. He even brought my mother a house. But all of that came with a price after a while. 5 months of living with & being married to Paul, I started to see a side of him I had never saw before. Although he was controlling and demanding, I didn't mind because he gave me everytHing I ever wanted and needed. Paul had even hit me a few times when he got mad, but he always made it up to me with gifts. And I accepted it because I knew he didn't really mean to do it. 5 years had passed and Paul and I were on and off with our relationship. The drinking had become more frequent and the beatings had become more severe. By now we had twins named Jacob and Jael who were 3yrs old. For the sake of Jacob and Jael having their father around, I always took Paul back, but he had done so much to hurt me. He cheated on me several times, broke my arm, busted my lip, burned my back with a lighter and broke my leg by pushing me down the stairs. Paul would come home drunk, accuse me of cheating and lying to him. He'd slap me, kick me, punch me, even tried to suffocate me with a pillow one day but he stopped once he saw Jacob screaming and crying at the bedroom door. One evening Paul came home from work upset. Things weren't going well with the auto shops, business was declining and Paul's drinking turned from every weekend to every night. Paul was upset because dinner was not made. Paul punched me in the eye, took my head and held my head under his arm in a choke hold. Minutes later the cops were banging on the door. Paul was arrested. He begged me not to press charges and promised he wouldn't do it again. We did counseling together and Paul took accountability classes. On my 23rd birthday, instead of being out celebrating, I was in the hospItal. Paul searched my phone that morning and saw a text message from a long time male school mate. Last thing I remembered was Paul beating me with a frying pan. I woke up in the hospital, not knowing how I had even got there. A nurse came to me and asked me questions. She asked about my mom, my dad and asked if I had siblings. I told her yes but I wasn't close to them. They were honestly fed up with me putting up with Paul's abuse, but I loved him, and I believed he could change, and I knew he loved me because he gave me everything that I needed. I couldn't tell the nurse this so I just told her that I was fine and that I had to get back to my children. I was honestly scared too. Paul told me he would kill me if I ever told anyone he hit me. That night I went home. Paul apologized. I ran in looking for the kids. He said he had dropped them off to my mother's house. I ran to the phone to call my mom. She was hysterical when she heard my voice. I told her not to worry, that I was fine and had just passed out after feeling a little dizzy this morning. She said the children were sound asleep and I told her I would call her back. That night was a night I would never forget. Paul said he couldn't get the image of the text message out of his mind, plus of course he had been drinking. I pleaded with Paul that it was completely innocent, a school mate who was like a brother to me my entire childhood. Paul yelled at me, called me worthless, a slut and a whore. He said I was a good for nothing and didn't deserve to be treated good because I was a cheater and disrespectful to him. Paul punched me. Blood ran from my nose. I ran as fast as I could. He caught me and stomped me in the back which seemed like forever. Last thing I remember was Paul wrapping his hands around my neck and saying," You will pay for disrespecting me." I could see the anger and rage in his eyes. June 28, 2013 was my funeral. I lived a short life, but I didn’t live the way that I should have. I was looking forward to living longer, raising my children, being happy and making my mother proud of me. I confused love with someone taking care of me and buying me gifts, but I’m gone now, and I can’t take those gifts with me. My mother came up to my casket and said, “ My dear Rose, you are as beautiful now as the day you were born, my beautiful Rose, sweet and lovely. May you rest in peace. I am sad that you are no longer with us, but I am at peace with you no longer in pain and suffering. If you or someone you know is in abusive relationship please tell them domestic violence is not love. Help them to get out before it’s too late. EDV- End Domestic Violence....... Love, Rose......Copyright ©2013 LaRita Holden

Friday, July 6, 2012

The definition of me: A Hopeless Romantic

A hopeless romantic is a person who is in love with love.They believe in a fairy tale love. They believe that fairy tales can come true and long to have that special someone in their life. They're not to be confused as stalkers or creepy because that's not what a hopeless romantic is. All hopeless romantics are idealists,the sentimental dreamers,the imaginative and they are deep souls once you get to know them. They often live with rose colored glasses on. They make love look like an art form with all the romantic things they'd do for their special someone and trust me, they'd do it.

A hopeless romantic is not the same as a hopeless flirter. A hopeless romantic dreams of who they will spend the rest of their life with and what the two of them will do together. They want to be romanced with sweet simple things and thoughtful amazing surprises. They dream of being loved but also loving someone. They don't want to just hold someone. They also want to be held. Hopeless romantics realize that love isn't just about one person but both people. They are hopelessly in love with being loved and loving back.

Hopeless Romantics are NOT Hopeless per-say, but very true, caring, and loving people. They are "NOT MADE FOR TODAYS STANDARDS", sadly. They believe in passion, chivalry, and true love. They have loved sincerely at one point in their life, discovered what love feels like, and can't understand why it was not returned in the same form. Hopeless Romantics are usually dreamers, idealists, and sincere, however what they expect in any relationship is a full return for their effort and caring, to be loved as much as they loved. What makes them "Hopeless" is the fact that they are few and far between in todays daily life, and usually get let down in the long run, even though they gave all that they had to give such as love, quality time and more. Hopeless Romantics give 100% ALL the time, and hope for the same in return.

Many people have this defintion of a hopeless romantic all wrong....A hopeless romantic is NOT someone who can't get anyone and they die lonely. A hopeless romantic is someone who is truly in love with true love. They will do anything to be with the person they love. They believe in the idea that there is only ONE person out there for them. They like to be adventurous, spontaneous and romantic with the one that they love.

A hopeless romantic is someone who truly belives in love not someone who can't get a date. They belive that love is the most beautifull thing on earth. When they're sad, just knowing that someone is thinking of them makes them smile, holding their hand makes them feel like they can fly, being loved, respected, cherished and appreciated.

Hopless Romantics beleive in the Ultimate love, finding that one special person that you may want to one day call your soulmate, someone you can honor, respect, love, cherish, appreciate, share special moments with and do special things with, someone you can talk to, someone you can trust, someone who believes in being loyal, faithful and genuine, someone you build a foundation with.

A hopeless romantic is a person who daydreams about romantic occasions and dreams of chances where he or she will be able to perform ongoing romantic acts to show and express their love, yet hardly, rarely or never get the chance to show it in many cases.

A hopeless romatic does not just have a sexual agenda. A hopeless romatic a deep being that wants more than just sex. They feel that making love with deep feelings involved is more meaningful. They want passion, deep intimate feelings charged with this chemistry and feelings of strong emotions. A hopeless romatic is a person who's interetsed in stimulating not only your body but also stimulating your mind, spirit, heart and soul.

A hopeless romatic actually want to take the time out to love you deeply for the beautiful spirit you are and want the same in return. We are simple people and we want to also be shown that we are appreciated and loved. We idolize the idea of love and all that it consists of. We want true happiness and will continue to be hopeless romantics because it's in our nature.

A hopeless romantic is a person who believes in all the little things about love, despite painful burns and heart shattering scenarios. And even after all this, deep inside won't give up on the idea that true does exisit. A well intentioned heart who seems to find love in all the wrong places but who's heart never spoils

Hopeless romantics are very loyal and will have eyes for only you. They will do whatever they feel they need to do to prove their love, but want the same in return.

Hopeless romantics have dreams of one day settling down, finding their true love, prehaps getting married, waking up to this one beautiful special person every morning, sharing intimate moments and realizing that it is the simple things in life that warms the heart and make love worth having.

Sadly, there are not many of us left out here. To know a hopeless romantic is to understand us and appreciate the love that one has to offer. With a hopeless romantic, you'll have real happiness. You'll have true love, romance and everything you ever wanted in love. You just have to know if your ready to endure it and never let go of it.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Feeling you feeling me

I can't stop the ache that's coming from in between my legs. As I stare into your eyes my body quivers, urgency knocks. The mere thought of your hands all over my fruit strikes anxiety within me. Filled with uncontrollable thoughts and urges, I pull you close and press my lips into yours. Your sweet and soft kiss feels like a sweet melody...the sound of the sea. I close my eyes, I see you. I open my eyes, I see you. I peel your clothes off like a banana being peeled; your eyes tell me that you're ready. Our bodies mesh into each other's, a feeling that can't be explained.
Slowly losing control, I climb on top of you and kiss you deeply and passionately. A beautiful sigh of ecstasy slips from your lips as I trail my kisses down your neck. My name escapes you and you beg me not to stop, your wish is my command. I grab your neck and lightly sink my teeth into your skin like a vampire. I can tell you’re pleased by the way you grab my waist, pushing me deep into you I grind my hot and dripping secretions on top of yours; you take your tongue and glide it across my body like a paint brush painting a portrait, the art of making love. Two beings latched to each other like a key stuck in a lock. No exit wanted. I urgently drop to the floor pulling you on top of me. I want to taste the best fruit from the cherry tree. My tongue begs to have you for breakfast lunch and dinner from dusk till dawn, morning, noon and night, wanting you Like a desert needing the rain, this shit is as serious as a venomous snake....
Words cannot express the ramped thoughts of you and I How much I anticipate the next moment of you and I And until that moment when we become one You'll crave me until my lips meet your body Feeling you feeling me.... Can you feel it?

Monday, April 16, 2012

Lost Soul

You are not my enemy
But just a thing of my past
My heart turned cold
After all that's been said and done
My heart can no longer feel for something like you
Ashes to Ashes
Dust to dust
I've burried you recently
Killing you was a must
You didn't deserve a life
With a being like me in it
Let alone without me in it
All thoughts & memories
A makeship of dust I flushed away yesterday
Rest In peace

You are not my enemy
But just a thing of my past
We no longer exist
A vivid speckle of mist
Which turned into nothing
That's what you are and what you have become
Step into the darkness
And fall to your death
Take a bow
The show has just ended
You are I are no longer a memory
But just a figment of one's Imagination

This sudden change has punctured my soul
Opening my eyes wide to fact that I mean nothing
You mean nothing, we mean nothing, there's nothing
For you to even say at this point but to remain
Burried, don't reach for me, don't call for me
Don't even look at me, don't utter my name out
Of your chapped lips, skin as rough as the ground
And eyes filled with nothing but sewage

Blind to fact that your journey was to be continued
Walking the plank with your leveled soul
Walking into the light with your being as one

You are not my enemy
But Just a thing of my past
A thing that my walls have shut down for
No entry allowed because you are not worthy
Of a genuine, whole-hearted forgiving fruit as I
Who else would't allow someone in who'd give their life?
Who would beckon at your dying wish? Who'd be there until
You took your last breath, You couldn't possibly Imagine
And see the sweet fruit in me, a fruit you'd want to keep forever
But you took the fruit as I and threw it away
And before I died, you as well were dead to me

Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Destroying every part of you
Was a must
To rid all details of you
That reminded me how cold & dead
Life had become when you abandoned
someone you said you loved
You couldn't possibly love yourself
Because loving yourself would mean
You loving me and you hate that, so you hate yourself

When you reach out for your soul
It'll be gone...

Saturday, September 17, 2011


Chasing dreams
Chasing clouds
Chasing Love
Chasing heartache
Chasing... a dream

Sunlight in disguise crept into my window
Seeping into my eyes one morning
I was...blinded

Blinded by what I thought was love
Darkness quickly came & wrapped its hands
Around my sunlight,Choking it limp

The sky turned dark
Winds blew severely
Birds scurried far away
I heard crying, screams & pain
I looked down and fell to my knees
Watching my heart crumble
Into more than a million pieces

I looked up with tears flowing from my eyes
Only to find... a body with no soul or spirit
Peering down at me with no remorse or regret
This physical form walks over me, stepping on the pieces of my heart
Walking toward darkness, I fell to my back
And gave in as the ocean's biggest wave consumed me

Love...left me to die

Chasing fantasies
Chasing stars
Chasing heartbreak
Chasing you
When I really was
Chasing...a dream
A dream that would never come true

From Flakes to Dust

My heart was once mighty and hard
Now it feels broken and Scarred
Now with pieces shattered and cold
You stole my heart and now its sold
I find a piece here and there
I feel I’ve searched almost everywhere
I had the peices found and was ready again to trust
But yet again my heart you bust
The pieces are smaller and harder to find
I feel as though I am losing my mind
Some pieces are lost and it makes my heart bleed
Your corrupt love I do not need
I yelled for you until my voice was hoarse
Now whats left is jagged and coarse
If I only knew what your love would do
I would have never said I belonged to you
You Squeezed my weakend heart until it bust
Now everythings gone from flakes to dust…

This post was submitted by LyricalPoet.

Poem from

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Weather my storm

Like the rain in the night
Tell me baby...
Can you weather my storm?

A place where It's Intensly hot
Satisfying & warm?

Tonight It's gonna be a flood
Definitely far from the norm

A heavy down pour
As wet as a tropical storm

A new place, a new life
Where a beautiful dream was born

Shining bright as the sun
All over, your beauty adorns

A place where we not shed tears or mourn

But a place where 2 becomes 1
Our King & Queen crowns are worn