Playing It Safe Pt. 2

Excuse me for wanting someting more than just....a friendly connection; Not wanting just a casual dating or just something platonic....Excuse me....For putting my emotions & my heart on lock and key.... Locked away in a safe.... Possibly locked away for who knows how long.... I know.... Why should the next soul have to suffer due to the past neglect?.... Its just the way it is....Excuse me for having my guard up....blocking so no one could enter....Maybe it's because I've been neglected and misunderstood, games played with and lied to....Can you blame me for becoming frigid like Alaska?....Excuse me for sometimes being confused....One minute wanting something more, next minute standing my ground and determined not to fall.... This situation is critical and at times it gets the best of me..... Lost in emotions....Afraid to fully open up....Afraid if I don't open up the right one will pass me by....Afraid if I do open up and give into my feelings and my emotions....I will get hurt; My heart left bleeding until its drained...no more life....So I continue to play it safe and keep my heart protected....No emotions.... No feelings.... No love.... Equals....No crying....No hurt....No heartache.... No sleepless nights.... No pain....This is my solution until I'm shown THE TRUTH....As Anthony Hamilton put it....It's just the way it is....So excuse me for playing it safe and turning off all feelings and emotions..... Sort of like a pink rose not wanting to fully blossom and it closes it buds, hoping not to die from lack of being nurtured and given love to and being taken care of properly......needing to be deeply rooted and planted lovingly....Realizing the beauty that lies within