Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I am...The One

I've always felt like I was this simple girl
Only requiring the simple things in life
To make me happy,to keep a smile on my face
I've never required the world
Although I feel like I do deserve it
Because I'm also willing to give that special person
The world, the sun, the moon, the stars, unlimited access to all of me
I can give...but the question is...
Will I receive what I deserve? For so long I've given
Given too much of myself, given too much of my time
Given too much attention & love and yet, at the end of it all
I still haven't received what I truly want, need & deserve
It's like I've been giving to the wrong persons
People who've been heartless, selfish, so self-consumed & callous
I sometimes wonder, If there's a God, why does God allow these type of people into my life to hurt me; to manipulate me; to deceive me
Why are these people even brought fourth to me?
I never question God but I always wonder...
The deal is this: I am not perfect so I'm not in search of perfection
I don't require riches in order to be happy
I'm not superficial nor selfish
I'm not the type of female you can just woo with trinkets & gifts
Although I do deserve nice things, I require more than materalistic
Ok...you drive & you may drive a nice car...and?
Am I suppose to fall all over you? No
Ok, you got money & love to spend it...and?
Money makes everyone happy for the moment while spending it
But money's not gonna keep me warm at night,make love to me or fill my heart; At the end of the day, will you show me better than you can tell me?
Will you consider my feelings? Will you want something true & real? Will you be different than the rest? Will you cook for me sometimes? Take me to dine out? rub my feet? pamper your lady? Will you give me the quality time that should be spent? Will we share thoughts & ideas together? Deep intimate & precious moments? Will you stand with me until the end of time?
Quality time
Loyalty...where are you?
Nothing hurts more
Than to get use to something or someone
Then without any notice, it's gone
Taken away from you... your left... feeling disappointed
All that you wanted was so near, but not really
You sit by the phone, waiting for it to ring
Waiting for a text, any indication of contact
Constantly hoping, waiting, wishing & praying
That the one would reach out to you
But it never happens, and if it does
It's on their terms & when they feel like it...
Do I deserve that? After all that we shared?
After I've opened up myself up to you?
You build me up to break me down, which makes it worse...
Because my guard is back up & I'm not letting anyone in...
Afraid to give myself, afraid to fall, afraid to allow my emotions
To take over, afraid to give my heart,Afraid to get my hopes up,
Give all of me, put my heart, feelings & emotions back on the line
Only to be cut down; taken advantage of; taken on a joyride of deception
Lies, confusion...emotional rollercoaster, draining my energy & my heart
The truth of the matter is that
I deserve better
I will have better
Because I am a Queen
A Natural Black Beauty
A star in the night next to your moon
I am your sunrise
Your water when your thirst needs to be quenched
Your fire
Your every desire
I am...the beat to your heart
Your air
Your past, your present & your future
I am...The beginning to your ending
The reason why your heart beats faster when you think of me
A damsel in distress
Awaiting her king to pick up the peices & complete the puzzle
I am...The One

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